Pulled herself up onto things--with no claws.
How did she get on Bob's towel on the toilet seat anyway? The Mysteries of Kara
Looking at overpasses and semitrucks.
Bob's thoughts as to the most important thing about Kara: Where she is.
Kara and timer light.
Kara waking me for love in middle of the night.
Sleeping on jogging pants.
Her purr.
The last night red and blue shirts.
Showing posts with label September 2015. Show all posts
Showing posts with label September 2015. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2015
Sunday, October 11, 2015
No Words
Now that I have committed to writing "Moments with Kara," I have lost the words. I am not sure what to say.
Is it because this is the most important story I have ever told or needed to tell?
Is it because it means so much?
Is it because it is a story people need to hear?
Is it because my husband and Kara's vet think I need to tell Kara's story?
Am I putting too much pressure on myself?
Is it because no one, other than my husband, has left footprints in my heart like she did? {And she was a cat.}
I have never suffered from writer's block like this and this is the time I really cannot afford to find it difficult to put words on the page.
{Lord, give me the words.}
Is it because this is the most important story I have ever told or needed to tell?
Is it because it means so much?
Is it because it is a story people need to hear?
Is it because my husband and Kara's vet think I need to tell Kara's story?
Am I putting too much pressure on myself?
Is it because no one, other than my husband, has left footprints in my heart like she did? {And she was a cat.}
I have never suffered from writer's block like this and this is the time I really cannot afford to find it difficult to put words on the page.
{Lord, give me the words.}
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Kara's Last Day on 09/26/2015
On Saturday, September 26, 2015, my husband and I woke and went to breakfast at The Egg and I. I had an omelette with avacado, grilled chicken, swiss cheese, and diced tomatoes. Then, we went to the Farmer's Market (where I tried and bought my first Asian Pear--eight of them actually along with five peaches, coffee, kettle corn, banana bread, pumpkin bread, multigrain bread, and kettle corn). From there, we headed to the house to finish working on the roof of the shed. We had to finish putting up shingles.
At one point, we went inside for a break and went upstairs to check on Kara and say hi. She had labored breathing and wheezed. It was different than what she did since Tuesday. Her wheezing and labored breathing would calm whenever I let her and prayed over her. It just wasn't that easy on Saturday.
So, we called our veterinarian, Dr. G. out in Broomfield, Colorado (a suburb of Denver and an hour and a half from where we live) to see if we should bring Kara in and Dr. G. wasn't in the office. They asked if we wanted her to be called and we said yes.
We waited.
Nothing.
I called the office and they were closed!
So, I sent her an email just in case and we called the urgent care near our home in Cheyenne... We gave them her symptoms and they said to go in to the vet on Monday. We already set up an appointment Monday for Kara to be seen for blood work to see if her thyroid medicine was working, so we were not about to see that vet. Kara was in distress and they wanted her to wait two and a half days to be seen. We will never use that vet. Never, ever.
How did they know it wasn't an emergency and that she wasn't suffering?
Kara was doing better, so we hoped Dr. G. would still call or that Kara could wait until Monday.
So, we went back to work on the shed. We got more shingles put up when the phone rang. I rushed down the ladder to my cell and it was Dr. G. She apologized for not being available. She had eye surgery that day! So, she asked us what was going on and I told her how Kara had labored breathing, wheeled off and on, wasn't eating very well, and hadn't had a bowel movement for a few days. She told me her breath was a concern and asked if we tried an urgent care in Cheyenne and we told her what happened. She was shocked and said that with Kara's breathing issues, Kara needed to be seen right away and asked how far we lived from CSU. I said an hour or so. She told me to call them and go.
So, as I did that, Bob put our stuff away outside and started preparing the car for Kara... litter box, her throw blanket off our bed for the seat, and her carrier. I grabbed her and her bed, held her like a taco in her bed and carried her to the car, which hubby was in and was waiting. I was quite thankful she didn't get upset when I picked her up, as she had the tendency to do.
I sat in back with her. Her litter box was behind Bob, she and her bed were in the middle of our backseat, and I sat to the right and pet her.
We hadn't had time to give her the anti-nausea medicine, so the poor thing jumped up and she headed a couple of steps to her box and started heaving. She hadn't had much to eat, so it was mainly foamy bile at her mouth I was able to brush off with a white towel I brought with us for such a situation.
WRITE MORE
At one point, we went inside for a break and went upstairs to check on Kara and say hi. She had labored breathing and wheezed. It was different than what she did since Tuesday. Her wheezing and labored breathing would calm whenever I let her and prayed over her. It just wasn't that easy on Saturday.
So, we called our veterinarian, Dr. G. out in Broomfield, Colorado (a suburb of Denver and an hour and a half from where we live) to see if we should bring Kara in and Dr. G. wasn't in the office. They asked if we wanted her to be called and we said yes.
We waited.
Nothing.
I called the office and they were closed!
So, I sent her an email just in case and we called the urgent care near our home in Cheyenne... We gave them her symptoms and they said to go in to the vet on Monday. We already set up an appointment Monday for Kara to be seen for blood work to see if her thyroid medicine was working, so we were not about to see that vet. Kara was in distress and they wanted her to wait two and a half days to be seen. We will never use that vet. Never, ever.
How did they know it wasn't an emergency and that she wasn't suffering?
Kara was doing better, so we hoped Dr. G. would still call or that Kara could wait until Monday.
So, we went back to work on the shed. We got more shingles put up when the phone rang. I rushed down the ladder to my cell and it was Dr. G. She apologized for not being available. She had eye surgery that day! So, she asked us what was going on and I told her how Kara had labored breathing, wheeled off and on, wasn't eating very well, and hadn't had a bowel movement for a few days. She told me her breath was a concern and asked if we tried an urgent care in Cheyenne and we told her what happened. She was shocked and said that with Kara's breathing issues, Kara needed to be seen right away and asked how far we lived from CSU. I said an hour or so. She told me to call them and go.
So, as I did that, Bob put our stuff away outside and started preparing the car for Kara... litter box, her throw blanket off our bed for the seat, and her carrier. I grabbed her and her bed, held her like a taco in her bed and carried her to the car, which hubby was in and was waiting. I was quite thankful she didn't get upset when I picked her up, as she had the tendency to do.
I sat in back with her. Her litter box was behind Bob, she and her bed were in the middle of our backseat, and I sat to the right and pet her.
We hadn't had time to give her the anti-nausea medicine, so the poor thing jumped up and she headed a couple of steps to her box and started heaving. She hadn't had much to eat, so it was mainly foamy bile at her mouth I was able to brush off with a white towel I brought with us for such a situation.
WRITE MORE
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Moments with Kara: Memories of Our Time with Kara to Write About and Share
Her sweet smell.
How she liked my scents.
Her soft, silky rootbeer colored fur, which looked black and white if not in direct sunlight.
How when she yawned she folded her ears down flat.
How she mewed and didn't meow.
No kitty belly. Concave. At first. Then, she developed a kitty belly while we stayed at dad's.
Having a kitty belly.
Walrus whiskers.
Kitten or cat? Or older.
How she liked my scents.
Her soft, silky rootbeer colored fur, which looked black and white if not in direct sunlight.
How when she yawned she folded her ears down flat.
How she mewed and didn't meow.
No kitty belly. Concave. At first. Then, she developed a kitty belly while we stayed at dad's.
Having a kitty belly.
Walrus whiskers.
Kitten or cat? Or older.
Three Change on a Dime Moments
Why share the stories of "Moments with Kara?"
She gave us three distinct change on a dime moments where life as we knew it ceased to exist. Our lives were forever changed because of these moments.
1 On September 20, 2014 when she found us.
2 When we found out she had cancer... two types...
3 When we had her put to sleep on September 26, 2015.
{WRITE MORE}
She gave us three distinct change on a dime moments where life as we knew it ceased to exist. Our lives were forever changed because of these moments.
1 On September 20, 2014 when she found us.
2 When we found out she had cancer... two types...
3 When we had her put to sleep on September 26, 2015.
{WRITE MORE}
Questions
Are there enough stories for a book of moments with Kara? Are they interesting enough anyone would want to read it? And are the lessons learned about life and faith applicable to more than just my simple life?
NaJoWriMo and October
October is National Journal Writing Month. It's a month where journal keepers focus on journaling even more than usual. In other words, it's a month of concentrated journaling. I committed to it, and signed up for it, about a month ago and wasn't sure what I wanted to focus on in my journaling during the month. However, I kept sensing the Lord would make it quite obvious. I just needed to wait and see.
Well, on Saturday as we waited in the waiting room at CSU Vet Teaching Hospital, after we found out Kara's lungs were riddled with cancer and we made the hard decision, I realized she was my journaling focus for October and then for November and National Novel Writing Month. {Again, NaNoWriMo is for fiction mainly, but nonfiction is acceptable. The only commitment is to write 50,000 words in November.} I had no doubt Kara, memories of her, and life and faith lessons learned from her should be my focus.
I will make 50,000 words my goal for October as well. {We shall see.} I will not count the words written the last couple of days. So, at the end of today, or at the start of tomorrow, I will count the words I wrote and add 50,000 to those. I will do the same at the end of this month in preparation for NaNoWriMo.
Tonight or tomorrow I will make a list of memories and lessons I want to get down on the page before they are forgotten. I will then expand the list throughout the next couple of months and will then write the story of each memory, along with the lessons learned from our cancer kitty.
Well, on Saturday as we waited in the waiting room at CSU Vet Teaching Hospital, after we found out Kara's lungs were riddled with cancer and we made the hard decision, I realized she was my journaling focus for October and then for November and National Novel Writing Month. {Again, NaNoWriMo is for fiction mainly, but nonfiction is acceptable. The only commitment is to write 50,000 words in November.} I had no doubt Kara, memories of her, and life and faith lessons learned from her should be my focus.
I will make 50,000 words my goal for October as well. {We shall see.} I will not count the words written the last couple of days. So, at the end of today, or at the start of tomorrow, I will count the words I wrote and add 50,000 to those. I will do the same at the end of this month in preparation for NaNoWriMo.
Tonight or tomorrow I will make a list of memories and lessons I want to get down on the page before they are forgotten. I will then expand the list throughout the next couple of months and will then write the story of each memory, along with the lessons learned from our cancer kitty.
Books about the Grief and Loss of a Pet
I am a reader. I try to always have at least book I'm reading; however, it's usually several. I also like to have an idea as to what books to read for different topics, moods, experiences, answers, escapism, etc. A book is usually the cure for any and every problem, ailment, or challenge. (A book is also something meant to bring beauty into our lives--if it is well written.) Hence, if I am dealing with a problem or am curious about a topic, I always go to a book to start to find the answers.
After we put Kara to sleep on Saturday, I've searched for information about the grief and loss of a pet, usually a four-legged kiddo and family member to us humans. It was that I necessarily needed it, since I have dealt with a great deal of loss in my life. My experience has taught me how to grieve appropriately. But, I wondered about help with grief and loss from a pet for others. What books were there on the subject.
What amazed me was how little there are--and how there's even less for people of faith. I looked online and even went in to a bookstore to see what books there were on the subject. Online, I found a few--and bought every single one of them, mind you. I also bought a couple "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books about cats.
What rather amazed me was how in that bookstore there was not one for the grief and loss of a pet--or for infertility. Both challenges are ones the individual usually has to go through alone because few understand what they are going through. Why wasn't there a book about either?
I cannot help but wonder if this might be my calling--journaling about critters (animals) and writing books about them and how animals touch our lives and what we can learn from them about life and about faith. But, is this a topic that is too overly done? I wonder. Then, I remember my visit to the bookstore and find my answer. There was nothing to help with my situation.
Also, I haven't found a book on dealing with cancer in your pet.
Nor did I find a book about what animals mean (or could mean) to those who can't have children.
Nor have I found a good memoir about bring adopted by a feral cat--who has two types of cancer and the journey that ensued because of both.
Kara's story is a very unique one--and I learned from her veterinarian, Dr. G. how few would do what my husband I did for the cat. (Never mind what Kara did to and for us.)
Needless to say, I imagine I am going to share all of Kara's stories and our moments with Kara and see where this leads.
I have the education and experience to help walk with others through their grief--and also have 32+ years of journal keeping experience. I imagine I could be a great help to those who want to remember all of the stories of their pet--and those who want to deal with their grief and loss after the death of a pet--a four-legged furry loved one and kiddo.
After we put Kara to sleep on Saturday, I've searched for information about the grief and loss of a pet, usually a four-legged kiddo and family member to us humans. It was that I necessarily needed it, since I have dealt with a great deal of loss in my life. My experience has taught me how to grieve appropriately. But, I wondered about help with grief and loss from a pet for others. What books were there on the subject.
What amazed me was how little there are--and how there's even less for people of faith. I looked online and even went in to a bookstore to see what books there were on the subject. Online, I found a few--and bought every single one of them, mind you. I also bought a couple "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books about cats.
What rather amazed me was how in that bookstore there was not one for the grief and loss of a pet--or for infertility. Both challenges are ones the individual usually has to go through alone because few understand what they are going through. Why wasn't there a book about either?
I cannot help but wonder if this might be my calling--journaling about critters (animals) and writing books about them and how animals touch our lives and what we can learn from them about life and about faith. But, is this a topic that is too overly done? I wonder. Then, I remember my visit to the bookstore and find my answer. There was nothing to help with my situation.
Also, I haven't found a book on dealing with cancer in your pet.
Nor did I find a book about what animals mean (or could mean) to those who can't have children.
Nor have I found a good memoir about bring adopted by a feral cat--who has two types of cancer and the journey that ensued because of both.
Kara's story is a very unique one--and I learned from her veterinarian, Dr. G. how few would do what my husband I did for the cat. (Never mind what Kara did to and for us.)
Needless to say, I imagine I am going to share all of Kara's stories and our moments with Kara and see where this leads.
I have the education and experience to help walk with others through their grief--and also have 32+ years of journal keeping experience. I imagine I could be a great help to those who want to remember all of the stories of their pet--and those who want to deal with their grief and loss after the death of a pet--a four-legged furry loved one and kiddo.
A Little Rough: The Plan for This Private Blog Journal
The whole purpose of this blog is for me to share all of my memories, blessings, thoughts, and feelings about Kara as I grieve our loss and as I try to remember everything I can about the little one. Needless to say, this will be a little rough. The writing will be rough, but it will also be rough for me to write and share. I will continually go back to previous blog posts (Which are really journaling entries) and I will correct them, add to them, and polish them.
Therefore, as I mentioned earlier, please go back and re-read things as you go--or just wait for the book (or books) to be written. I will also write a public blog in which I will polish these stories a little more. The book, however, will be polished even more. I will also try to add een more material to the public blog and then to the book.
Therefore, as I mentioned earlier, please go back and re-read things as you go--or just wait for the book (or books) to be written. I will also write a public blog in which I will polish these stories a little more. The book, however, will be polished even more. I will also try to add een more material to the public blog and then to the book.
The First Time in My Study Since... (09/30/2015c)
930 a.m.
Here it is Wednesday--and is day four since Kara went to sleep.
It's the first day I dare to come upstairs to my study to pray and journal. I just sat here and am fighting the lump in my throat as I realize how it is time to make the new memories as I make the shift in my mind and heart--where Kara moves from her constant presence and purr to just the memories thereof.
She lied on the table/desk I have here last Friday for the last time. We loved on one another. She purred and I pet. I even had the foresight to take an audio recording of her purr. I didn't take any pictures, but I had the last few days prior. We had that one last moment. I had her constant presence and purr over the last year as I prayed and journaled in my study in Virginia and now here in our forever home of Cheyenne. She always insisted on me taking the appropriate breaks to love on her. And, if she didn't, if I needed to grab more coffee or a snack, or whatever, I would go see her.
Now, I don't have that.
The photo on my private journal blog of my/our Moments with Kara is an example of what she would do. It was taken in the last week. Last Tuesday, as a matter of fact.
Now... rather than Little Bit being there, there is a flameless LED tealight candle shining in remembrance of her. She was definitely the light in our lives this last year... Even dealing with cancer times two. The quality of life she had was off the charts--and she knew it. She found love. We don't think she ever knew love before and what it meant to give it and receive it--unconditionally and completely.
The candle represents her forever presence in my life. It reminds me of the millions upon trillions of blessings she brought.
Rather than mourn her as I pray and journal, I will try to count all of the blessings.
I will try to remember every moment, every lesson she taught, everything she brought us. And, I will try to picture her as the cat she is in heaven--free, whole, full of life, experiencing the love and grace of our Lord. She is running, leaping, pouncing in streets of gold and in the heavenly prairie. She is curling up on the Lord's lap, purring and enjoying life as it is supposed to be--cancer free. And, she can hear the voice of the Lord. She can hear for the first time.
I will count my blessings of her--then, now, and in the future. I will learn how to love like she, how to be strong, and how to look at the Lord and respond to Him.
Here it is Wednesday--and is day four since Kara went to sleep.
It's the first day I dare to come upstairs to my study to pray and journal. I just sat here and am fighting the lump in my throat as I realize how it is time to make the new memories as I make the shift in my mind and heart--where Kara moves from her constant presence and purr to just the memories thereof.
She lied on the table/desk I have here last Friday for the last time. We loved on one another. She purred and I pet. I even had the foresight to take an audio recording of her purr. I didn't take any pictures, but I had the last few days prior. We had that one last moment. I had her constant presence and purr over the last year as I prayed and journaled in my study in Virginia and now here in our forever home of Cheyenne. She always insisted on me taking the appropriate breaks to love on her. And, if she didn't, if I needed to grab more coffee or a snack, or whatever, I would go see her.
Now, I don't have that.
The photo on my private journal blog of my/our Moments with Kara is an example of what she would do. It was taken in the last week. Last Tuesday, as a matter of fact.
Now... rather than Little Bit being there, there is a flameless LED tealight candle shining in remembrance of her. She was definitely the light in our lives this last year... Even dealing with cancer times two. The quality of life she had was off the charts--and she knew it. She found love. We don't think she ever knew love before and what it meant to give it and receive it--unconditionally and completely.
The candle represents her forever presence in my life. It reminds me of the millions upon trillions of blessings she brought.
Rather than mourn her as I pray and journal, I will try to count all of the blessings.
I will try to remember every moment, every lesson she taught, everything she brought us. And, I will try to picture her as the cat she is in heaven--free, whole, full of life, experiencing the love and grace of our Lord. She is running, leaping, pouncing in streets of gold and in the heavenly prairie. She is curling up on the Lord's lap, purring and enjoying life as it is supposed to be--cancer free. And, she can hear the voice of the Lord. She can hear for the first time.
I will count my blessings of her--then, now, and in the future. I will learn how to love like she, how to be strong, and how to look at the Lord and respond to Him.
The Meaning of "Kara"
What's in a name?
The meaning of Kara depends on the country of origin. Kara means: Pure, dear, beloved. It also means cherished one, beloved one, and precious one. It also means sweet melody and beloved friend or loyal friend. It also means black in Turkish, and she was black and white.
She was all of that and more. Her nae was more than appropriate.
The meaning of Kara depends on the country of origin. Kara means: Pure, dear, beloved. It also means cherished one, beloved one, and precious one. It also means sweet melody and beloved friend or loyal friend. It also means black in Turkish, and she was black and white.
She was all of that and more. Her nae was more than appropriate.
A Daily Thought, Prayer, and Thanks Offering, Plus What I Miss (09/30/2015b)
Yesterday I woke up with this thought, prayer, and thanks offering:
"Lord, thank You for this day. It's an opportunity to remember Kara and to count the blessings of her."
Today I want to live this way, but am having difficulty.
It is now day four without the presence and purr of Kara.
I miss wrapping my arms around her for a hug as she vibrated with purrs.
I miss kissing her forehead and her holding her head up higher so I could. Then, she would close her eyes for a second as she made a burst of purr. She would be so content afterward.
I miss her turning her back to me so we could play the tail game where she would glance back at me to see where I was and then would smack me with her tail. I was expected to tap on her tail and she would smack me again with her tail. She would purr and glance back at me to make sure I would continue to tap her tail after she smacked me with her tail again. She thought it was quite the thrilling game. I would laugh and she would tease me with her tail. The more I laughed, the more she smacked me with her white tipped and dotted tail. And the more I laughed--touched and delighted by her spunk and playfulness.
I miss how she looked up at us with a look that said how much she loved us and adored us. And the look said she counted her blessings as well.
Isn't that how we are supposed to look at the Lord?
I miss her coming to say hi to me throughout the day and miss how whenever took a break, I would go see her and check on her.
What I will never miss is the fear I had every time I checked on her as I wondered if this was the last time before she started to show signs of suffering. That fear for the last year was difficult at best.
However, her purr and excitement when I did check on her never ceased to touch me deeply. She loved those stolen moments, as did I.
"Lord, thank You for this day. It's an opportunity to remember Kara and to count the blessings of her."
Today I want to live this way, but am having difficulty.
It is now day four without the presence and purr of Kara.
I miss wrapping my arms around her for a hug as she vibrated with purrs.
I miss kissing her forehead and her holding her head up higher so I could. Then, she would close her eyes for a second as she made a burst of purr. She would be so content afterward.
I miss her turning her back to me so we could play the tail game where she would glance back at me to see where I was and then would smack me with her tail. I was expected to tap on her tail and she would smack me again with her tail. She would purr and glance back at me to make sure I would continue to tap her tail after she smacked me with her tail again. She thought it was quite the thrilling game. I would laugh and she would tease me with her tail. The more I laughed, the more she smacked me with her white tipped and dotted tail. And the more I laughed--touched and delighted by her spunk and playfulness.
I miss how she looked up at us with a look that said how much she loved us and adored us. And the look said she counted her blessings as well.
Isn't that how we are supposed to look at the Lord?
I miss her coming to say hi to me throughout the day and miss how whenever took a break, I would go see her and check on her.
What I will never miss is the fear I had every time I checked on her as I wondered if this was the last time before she started to show signs of suffering. That fear for the last year was difficult at best.
However, her purr and excitement when I did check on her never ceased to touch me deeply. She loved those stolen moments, as did I.
A Visit and a Verse (09/30/2015a)
So... Last night, I had a visit.
I went to roll over in bed and there was a Kara sized weight in her usual spot on our bed. My feet and legs found her there and my heart pounded as I started to move to pet her and I remembered she wasn't there to love or to love on me. My heart sank.
I knew I felt her weight, though. She was there for a quick visit.
My heart pounded.
Sometimes it's okay not to understand.
Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy.
I told Bob about it this morning and he said how he didn't think my mind played tricks on me.
We both agree the Lord gives us comfort and does so in His unexplainable ways.
How wonderful.
///
Psalm 147:3 Living Bible (TLB)
3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
-- Living Bible (TLB). The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
///
I went to roll over in bed and there was a Kara sized weight in her usual spot on our bed. My feet and legs found her there and my heart pounded as I started to move to pet her and I remembered she wasn't there to love or to love on me. My heart sank.
I knew I felt her weight, though. She was there for a quick visit.
My heart pounded.
Sometimes it's okay not to understand.
Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy.
I told Bob about it this morning and he said how he didn't think my mind played tricks on me.
We both agree the Lord gives us comfort and does so in His unexplainable ways.
How wonderful.
///
Psalm 147:3 Living Bible (TLB)
3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.
-- Living Bible (TLB). The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
///
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Emails with Mom on Wednesday, 09/24/2015
//
On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 7:17 AM, Stacy Duplease wrote:
Gloomy.
This is the weather today and is how I feel.
Kara isn't doing well.
Hubby isn't either, of course!
And neither am I. I have the world on my shoulders and am a mess.
Please don't ask questions, other than how am I doing. That's the one question that would mean the absolute world.
No advice. Just comfort.
And prayer!!!!!! Need it. All of us do.
I can't stop crying. Ugh.
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy Duplease
//
On September 23, 2015, at 8:20 AM, Mom wrote:
Oh hon,
How are you?
So many prayers...My dear God....Little One needs Your hand! Take good care of her. Thank You for listening to our prayers.
I am praying and will forever pray for all of you!
I love you!!!
Mom
//
On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 8:31 AM, Stacy wrote:
Howdy! Good morning.
How am I? It changes... but right now, I am okay. I'm good. I feel heavy inside, but am good overall.
Why do people choose to focus on the negative... Or on what isn't fair? Why do people not focus on what is? And focus on the blessings they have right now in spite of the ugly that comes along with the moment? Why do people focus on the ugly and not on the beauty of a situation? Why do people not see how blessed they are regardless of life's challenges? ...just thoughts I cannot help but ponder.
There is a little love right upstairs right now. Sure... she has cancer. She is dying. (We all are.) But, a little wheeze here and there, with her doing really well overall, won't stop me from focusing on how she is here now and I will enjoy her while she is here!
Switch.
Now I am crying.
I will. Enjoy her, that is.
She is too precious not to do so.
I will not mourn her while she is still here and is alive to enjoy and love and spoil!
She deserves no less.
I am the one who is with her more often than not and I know it is my responsibility to love on her, in spite at times. In spite of the yucky she has to endure. I am trying to be her little light. Jesus in the skin.
Oh, how I am blessed!!!
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy
//
On September 23, 2015, at 8:44 AM, Mom wrote:
You are so blessed. Little One is so blessed with all of your love. What a love she is. Listening to her purrs, she is so content. You and Bob are her blessing.
Love,
Mom
On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 7:17 AM, Stacy Duplease wrote:
Gloomy.
This is the weather today and is how I feel.
Kara isn't doing well.
Hubby isn't either, of course!
And neither am I. I have the world on my shoulders and am a mess.
Please don't ask questions, other than how am I doing. That's the one question that would mean the absolute world.
No advice. Just comfort.
And prayer!!!!!! Need it. All of us do.
I can't stop crying. Ugh.
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy Duplease
//
On September 23, 2015, at 8:20 AM, Mom wrote:
Oh hon,
How are you?
So many prayers...My dear God....Little One needs Your hand! Take good care of her. Thank You for listening to our prayers.
I am praying and will forever pray for all of you!
I love you!!!
Mom
//
On Wed, Sep 23, 2015 at 8:31 AM, Stacy wrote:
Howdy! Good morning.
How am I? It changes... but right now, I am okay. I'm good. I feel heavy inside, but am good overall.
Why do people choose to focus on the negative... Or on what isn't fair? Why do people not focus on what is? And focus on the blessings they have right now in spite of the ugly that comes along with the moment? Why do people focus on the ugly and not on the beauty of a situation? Why do people not see how blessed they are regardless of life's challenges? ...just thoughts I cannot help but ponder.
There is a little love right upstairs right now. Sure... she has cancer. She is dying. (We all are.) But, a little wheeze here and there, with her doing really well overall, won't stop me from focusing on how she is here now and I will enjoy her while she is here!
Switch.
Now I am crying.
I will. Enjoy her, that is.
She is too precious not to do so.
I will not mourn her while she is still here and is alive to enjoy and love and spoil!
She deserves no less.
I am the one who is with her more often than not and I know it is my responsibility to love on her, in spite at times. In spite of the yucky she has to endure. I am trying to be her little light. Jesus in the skin.
Oh, how I am blessed!!!
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy
//
On September 23, 2015, at 8:44 AM, Mom wrote:
You are so blessed. Little One is so blessed with all of your love. What a love she is. Listening to her purrs, she is so content. You and Bob are her blessing.
Love,
Mom
The Dreaded Call, Emails, and Experiences
912 a.m.
I just got a call... Kara's remains are ready to be picked up from the crematorium.
Ouch.
Talk about being a mess after that call. I am a sobbing and sad lady... which makes me think of our nickname of Lady Kara and that only adds to the ouch.
Lord, have mercy.
Oh, Lord...
///
0930 a.m.
I sent Bob an email... a copy of my previous journal entry about the crematorium. Knowing he is at work I said in the email subject line: "Warning: Painful email. Open when in private," or something to that effect.
I had to warn him. It will be tough for him to read.
I cannot believe any of this is in our lexicon or in our experience database now.
I also saved the crematorium's contact information since we have four other critters... (I shudder at the thought, but realize I need to be prepared. Things happen, after all.)
///
1158 a.m.
Bob came home and we went out to force down a bite to eat. We don't feel like cooking and nothing sounds good. Neither one of us are anything prior to then. We're just too sad.
He's doing some work from home now and will head back to work for a couple of hours in a while and I will attempt to start to write Kara's story, past, present, and future.
How do you even begin such a tale?
I have been a journal keeper for over thirty-two years and have no idea what to say or write. I am blank.
Earlier, as a matter of fact, I sat here on my sofa... Not in my study. Not upstairs. I am avoiding upstairs today, except for laundry, since upstairs was her main domain. She went back and forth between our bedroom, the guest bedroom, and the study. Therefore, upstairs is particularly painful. I determined earlier I would avoid upstairs today and just get used to being home alone an entire day without Kara or my husband. Then, starting tomorrow, I would go up there for a while at least as I try to get used to her not being here with me.
Sinan this morning stayed constantly within eyesight and snuggled a great deal more than usual. He took care of me and I think he sought comfort from me. So, I wasn't entirely alone. I was just without Kara and Bob. I still had the company of Zack, Sinan, Shelly, and Harry. {Thank the Lord.}
Since Bob came home for a while, I will most likely not try to journal upstairs until Thursday. While Bob is at work, I will try to tell some of the stories of our moments with Kara.
I just got a call... Kara's remains are ready to be picked up from the crematorium.
Ouch.
Talk about being a mess after that call. I am a sobbing and sad lady... which makes me think of our nickname of Lady Kara and that only adds to the ouch.
Lord, have mercy.
Oh, Lord...
///
0930 a.m.
I sent Bob an email... a copy of my previous journal entry about the crematorium. Knowing he is at work I said in the email subject line: "Warning: Painful email. Open when in private," or something to that effect.
I had to warn him. It will be tough for him to read.
I cannot believe any of this is in our lexicon or in our experience database now.
I also saved the crematorium's contact information since we have four other critters... (I shudder at the thought, but realize I need to be prepared. Things happen, after all.)
///
1158 a.m.
Bob came home and we went out to force down a bite to eat. We don't feel like cooking and nothing sounds good. Neither one of us are anything prior to then. We're just too sad.
He's doing some work from home now and will head back to work for a couple of hours in a while and I will attempt to start to write Kara's story, past, present, and future.
How do you even begin such a tale?
I have been a journal keeper for over thirty-two years and have no idea what to say or write. I am blank.
Earlier, as a matter of fact, I sat here on my sofa... Not in my study. Not upstairs. I am avoiding upstairs today, except for laundry, since upstairs was her main domain. She went back and forth between our bedroom, the guest bedroom, and the study. Therefore, upstairs is particularly painful. I determined earlier I would avoid upstairs today and just get used to being home alone an entire day without Kara or my husband. Then, starting tomorrow, I would go up there for a while at least as I try to get used to her not being here with me.
Sinan this morning stayed constantly within eyesight and snuggled a great deal more than usual. He took care of me and I think he sought comfort from me. So, I wasn't entirely alone. I was just without Kara and Bob. I still had the company of Zack, Sinan, Shelly, and Harry. {Thank the Lord.}
Since Bob came home for a while, I will most likely not try to journal upstairs until Thursday. While Bob is at work, I will try to tell some of the stories of our moments with Kara.
Blog Journal, Blog Post Series, and Book
I decided I want to write a blog, a blog post series, and a book called,
"Moments with Kara: What a ferel cancer cat taught me about faith and life"
It will be about the blessing of Kara--from September 20, 2014 to the present and in the future.
I made this decision on this Saturday 09/26/2015 as we were waiting for the doc to bring Kara to us to see and hold as the doc put her to earthly sleep. It's really a no brainer. Of course this story needs telling and hearing.
But, how?
In October of every year is National Journal Writing Month (NaJoWriMo) and I have been trying to come up with a theme as I participate in the concentrated month. Moments with Kara seems like a pretty good theme if you ask me.
Also, in November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo or NaNo) and I will write "Moments with Kara" then as well.
I want to capture every memory, every moment, every blessing we have of Kara Beara. She deserves no less and I want to count the blessings of her for the rest of my life. They were numerous.
So, between now and the end of November, I should have a great deal on the page. Also, I have decided to make it a spiritual book, but will not make it an in your face Christian book. I want a larger audience to read it and be touched by her and our story.
///
An email I sent mom on 09/29/2015 at 905 a.m.:
Mom, I see you accepted my invite to the "Moments with Kara Private Blog." This is where I will write every single memory and blessing of Kara. I shared it with you so you can see what I share.
Then, I will do a public blog and blog post series, which I will turn into a book or several books. Inspirational Spiritual Animal Memoir and Devotional.
So, that's the plan I made this morning.
I hope you enjoy both blogs and the books. But, how could you not Gammy? Kara was your grandcritter, after all. And, she was and is quite special. Her and her big, bright, beautiful eyes and a heart larger than this world.
- S
"Moments with Kara: What a ferel cancer cat taught me about faith and life"
It will be about the blessing of Kara--from September 20, 2014 to the present and in the future.
I made this decision on this Saturday 09/26/2015 as we were waiting for the doc to bring Kara to us to see and hold as the doc put her to earthly sleep. It's really a no brainer. Of course this story needs telling and hearing.
But, how?
In October of every year is National Journal Writing Month (NaJoWriMo) and I have been trying to come up with a theme as I participate in the concentrated month. Moments with Kara seems like a pretty good theme if you ask me.
Also, in November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo or NaNo) and I will write "Moments with Kara" then as well.
I want to capture every memory, every moment, every blessing we have of Kara Beara. She deserves no less and I want to count the blessings of her for the rest of my life. They were numerous.
So, between now and the end of November, I should have a great deal on the page. Also, I have decided to make it a spiritual book, but will not make it an in your face Christian book. I want a larger audience to read it and be touched by her and our story.
///
An email I sent mom on 09/29/2015 at 905 a.m.:
Mom, I see you accepted my invite to the "Moments with Kara Private Blog." This is where I will write every single memory and blessing of Kara. I shared it with you so you can see what I share.
Then, I will do a public blog and blog post series, which I will turn into a book or several books. Inspirational Spiritual Animal Memoir and Devotional.
So, that's the plan I made this morning.
I hope you enjoy both blogs and the books. But, how could you not Gammy? Kara was your grandcritter, after all. And, she was and is quite special. Her and her big, bright, beautiful eyes and a heart larger than this world.
- S
Email I Sent to Mom on 09/29/2015, 826 a.m.
Email I Sent to Mom on 09/29/2015, 826 a.m.
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Clueless
From: Stacy Duplease
Sent: Tuesday, September 29, 2015, 8:26 AM
To: Mom
Mom, I am clueless this morning. I have no idea how to begin... what to do... what to think... how to feel... Most importantly, I have no idea what to journal and write.
I am both sad and numb. The tears are less so far today. We shall see how long that lasts.
I cannot believe this is day three without our girl. She is just a cat. Right? She is not a human being and I have mourned more about her than another human being or animal for that matter.
No. She is not just a cat. She was our cat. Our Baby Girl. Our Little Bit. And we only had her a year and a week. A short time. Longer than expected. Not nearly long enough. And she died from lung and breast cancer. Suddenly. Because we put her to sleep before she suffered any more. And she died in Bob's arms. And she died rubbing her face all over my hand. And she died purring.
She is in heaven. Running around, cancer free, she can hear, and she has claws. She is fully restored as the Lord had intended. But, because human beings fell... Because Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit, and didn't confess, the animals have suffered ever since.
Animals are and were innocent. They did nothing to deserve what they have suffered because of the fall. Kara sure did nothing to deserve cancer... let alone both cancers. At least she is no longer suffering from the human fall. But, we are left behind trying to do this thing called life without her.
Oh, how we miss her.
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy Duplease
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Clueless
From: Stacy Duplease
Sent: Tuesday, September 29, 2015, 8:26 AM
To: Mom
Mom, I am clueless this morning. I have no idea how to begin... what to do... what to think... how to feel... Most importantly, I have no idea what to journal and write.
I am both sad and numb. The tears are less so far today. We shall see how long that lasts.
I cannot believe this is day three without our girl. She is just a cat. Right? She is not a human being and I have mourned more about her than another human being or animal for that matter.
No. She is not just a cat. She was our cat. Our Baby Girl. Our Little Bit. And we only had her a year and a week. A short time. Longer than expected. Not nearly long enough. And she died from lung and breast cancer. Suddenly. Because we put her to sleep before she suffered any more. And she died in Bob's arms. And she died rubbing her face all over my hand. And she died purring.
She is in heaven. Running around, cancer free, she can hear, and she has claws. She is fully restored as the Lord had intended. But, because human beings fell... Because Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit, and didn't confess, the animals have suffered ever since.
Animals are and were innocent. They did nothing to deserve what they have suffered because of the fall. Kara sure did nothing to deserve cancer... let alone both cancers. At least she is no longer suffering from the human fall. But, we are left behind trying to do this thing called life without her.
Oh, how we miss her.
Prayers and Blessings,
Stacy Duplease
Extra Material on 09/29/2015
Extra Material on 09/29/2015
The truth is I am a journal keeper extraordinaire. I average journaling 30 pages of single spaced ten point font text on letter sized paper every day and have done so for three years. I averaged ten pages for five years, have averaged five pages per day for thirty two plus years, but have no idea had with to start my journaling today.
The truth is I am a journal keeper extraordinaire. I average journaling 30 pages of single spaced ten point font text on letter sized paper every day and have done so for three years. I averaged ten pages for five years, have averaged five pages per day for thirty two plus years, but have no idea had with to start my journaling today.
Missing
09/28/2015b
PJSeOc2015, Monday, September 28, 2015, 657 a.m., In living room, On our aqua colored sofa
I woke up at 418 a.m. with the sense something was wrong. Something was missing.
Kara!
The realization flooded over me and I spend the next hour and a half (or was it more) crying... and off and on since.
Sinan at one point jumped in our bed and looked in her corner at the bottom right, on my side, of our bed and didn't see her. He came and loved on us since we were talking and were weeping. He got love from us, as he kept looking for her on our bed, on the two nightstands where she hung out as well, and then he went to her corner... didn't step there... but smelled her thrown blanket... and sniffed the air and jumped off the bed, trying to find her.
Where is she? He acted like.
The touching, heart rendering scene only made me break into wild sobs.
She is no longer with us physically.
And, oh how we miss her.
We want to live a life to honor her, we determined this morning.
Oh, how grateful we are for every moment with Kara. Each was sacred and unforgettable.
And, that is why I am writing these blog posts, which I will turn into a book.
She taught us more about faith and life than anyone or anything.
She found us and she claimed us as hers. And she loved us fiercely. Tenderly. Thankfully. She knew how much her life changed because of us and she stamped her eight pound self on our hearts permanently. She transformed us.
The truth is, we would do it all over again, every year, if we could.
She was worth it.
What a blessing she was, is, and always will be.
Moments with Kara is being written in and out of grief as we keep her memory forever alive.
What a treasure.
PJSeOc2015, Monday, September 28, 2015, 657 a.m., In living room, On our aqua colored sofa
I woke up at 418 a.m. with the sense something was wrong. Something was missing.
Kara!
The realization flooded over me and I spend the next hour and a half (or was it more) crying... and off and on since.
Sinan at one point jumped in our bed and looked in her corner at the bottom right, on my side, of our bed and didn't see her. He came and loved on us since we were talking and were weeping. He got love from us, as he kept looking for her on our bed, on the two nightstands where she hung out as well, and then he went to her corner... didn't step there... but smelled her thrown blanket... and sniffed the air and jumped off the bed, trying to find her.
Where is she? He acted like.
The touching, heart rendering scene only made me break into wild sobs.
She is no longer with us physically.
And, oh how we miss her.
We want to live a life to honor her, we determined this morning.
Oh, how grateful we are for every moment with Kara. Each was sacred and unforgettable.
And, that is why I am writing these blog posts, which I will turn into a book.
She taught us more about faith and life than anyone or anything.
She found us and she claimed us as hers. And she loved us fiercely. Tenderly. Thankfully. She knew how much her life changed because of us and she stamped her eight pound self on our hearts permanently. She transformed us.
The truth is, we would do it all over again, every year, if we could.
She was worth it.
What a blessing she was, is, and always will be.
Moments with Kara is being written in and out of grief as we keep her memory forever alive.
What a treasure.
Introduction
09/28/2015a
Working Title of Blog Post Series and Book:
"Moments with Kara: What a ferel cancer cat taught me about faith and life"
///
Please note that if you are reading this, you are one of a selected few.
Also, each post will change over time, so please re-read these every now and then.
///
This is dedicated to Lady Kara and Little Bit.
You... (More later...)
Snuggle up to Jesus for us.
///
There once was a cat. Her name was Kara.
This is the story of a merging of lives and this is the tale of our journey together.
///
Monday, September 28, 2015, 635 a.m., In living room, On our aqua colored sofa
///
RIP Lady Kara
Between 11:15 and 11:45 p.m. on Saturday, September 26, 2015, Little Bit Kara went to a permanent earthly sleep while nestled in her dad's arms and while rubbing her face all over her mom's hands... purring like only she can.
At CSU Animal Teaching Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.
She is no longer on this earth, but lives without two types of cancer, without toothaches, with claws, and with hearing in eternity with our Lord. And she will remain fully alive in our hearts and minds.
She left behind a human dad and mom, a Beagle brother, a Orange Maine Coon brother, and a turtle sister and brother. Plus two grandparents that adored her. She will never be forgotten. She found us one year, six days prior, but she transformed us and our lives and permanently stamped our hearts. Her resiliency, wisdom, and fiestiness are unmatched, as is her love.
We didn't find her. She found us--and we were hers.
We do not regret one moment with her and would do it all again if we could. Every moment with Kara was sacred.
She taught my husband and I, a total of 92 years of collected experience more about faith and life than anyone or anything ever has.
Our Kara...
Little Bit. Lady Kara. Little Gorilla. Little Dove. Love bug. Girlie. Baby Girl. Kara Beara. Oreo. Tuxedo. Thief of Hearts. Purrbox. Cancer Kitty. Deaf One. Declawed One. Once Feral. Always Loyal. Strong One. Feisty One. Spunky One. Precious One.
Working Title of Blog Post Series and Book:
"Moments with Kara: What a ferel cancer cat taught me about faith and life"
///
Please note that if you are reading this, you are one of a selected few.
Also, each post will change over time, so please re-read these every now and then.
///
This is dedicated to Lady Kara and Little Bit.
You... (More later...)
Snuggle up to Jesus for us.
///
There once was a cat. Her name was Kara.
This is the story of a merging of lives and this is the tale of our journey together.
///
Monday, September 28, 2015, 635 a.m., In living room, On our aqua colored sofa
///
RIP Lady Kara
Between 11:15 and 11:45 p.m. on Saturday, September 26, 2015, Little Bit Kara went to a permanent earthly sleep while nestled in her dad's arms and while rubbing her face all over her mom's hands... purring like only she can.
At CSU Animal Teaching Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.
She is no longer on this earth, but lives without two types of cancer, without toothaches, with claws, and with hearing in eternity with our Lord. And she will remain fully alive in our hearts and minds.
She left behind a human dad and mom, a Beagle brother, a Orange Maine Coon brother, and a turtle sister and brother. Plus two grandparents that adored her. She will never be forgotten. She found us one year, six days prior, but she transformed us and our lives and permanently stamped our hearts. Her resiliency, wisdom, and fiestiness are unmatched, as is her love.
We didn't find her. She found us--and we were hers.
We do not regret one moment with her and would do it all again if we could. Every moment with Kara was sacred.
She taught my husband and I, a total of 92 years of collected experience more about faith and life than anyone or anything ever has.
Our Kara...
Little Bit. Lady Kara. Little Gorilla. Little Dove. Love bug. Girlie. Baby Girl. Kara Beara. Oreo. Tuxedo. Thief of Hearts. Purrbox. Cancer Kitty. Deaf One. Declawed One. Once Feral. Always Loyal. Strong One. Feisty One. Spunky One. Precious One.
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