Saturday, September 6, 2014

Personal Journaling September 06, 2014

2014-09-06 09:58:24

Personal Bible, Blessings, Prayer, Writing Noteboook and Journaling

BLESSINGS COUNTED LIST

Good morning, Lord. Thank You for this day and the opportunities it brings. What a blessings (742).

743 I am grateful for what happened last night (more on that in a bit).

744 Thank You, God, for breakfast with B.

745 What a blessing B and I just had as we did more planning for our future.

746 Thank You, Lord, for Penzu.com.

747 I sure appreciate my tablet, which I'm using to journal this.

Before I babble, I want to take some time to lean in to You and Your Word.

BIBLEGATEWAY.COM VERSE OF THE DAY

John 14:23 Good News Translation (GNT)

23 Jesus answered him, “Those who love me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and my Father and I will come to them and live with them.

Good News Translation (GNT).

Now, that's what I'm talking about, Lord. Amen and amen!

God, help me to obey Your teaching and do what You say, when You say it, how You say it.

DAILY BIBLE READING

Psalms 148-150 and 1 Corinthians 12-1 Corinthians 15:58.

Psalms 148-150 is praise and worship of God. Read each. (748-750 Blessings)

Now, bummer. I've finished reading the Psalms for my reading the Bible in a year reading. That being said, I will continue to read the Psalms daily in addition to my daily Old and New Testament readings. I will read three to four verses every day and will start tomorrow with Psalm 1.

Read 1 Corinthians 12-15 (blessings 751-754).

755 Just spoke with my Mom and told her everything going on in my life, and what God has done, which is quite a bit. God's working mightily and I'm doing my best to listen, trust, ad do what He says, when He says it, how He tells me.

2014-09-06 11:38:57

WRITING NOTEBOOK AND JOURNALING

Ugh. I'm tired of feeling like a non-committed, ADD or ADHD writer, all over the place, not sticking with the same thing--not staying the course. It makes me feel so small. Never mind my writing.

What's a writer to do?

The truth is, I realize God has been growing me the last decade. He's teaching me and stretching me. I've needed the practice, so to speak. I need to hone my craft.

I also know He has me in a holding pattern now. He needs to do some more work in me, and I need to have a couple more experiences, then He will reveal to me the project and His vision for my writing. Until then, I will accept His daily promptings and will write those. They can become a book of daily devotionals later, if God leads me in that direction.

Regardless of where God leads, I think if anyone is a Christian, a journalkeeper, or a writer, even through my all-over-the-place writing, I think there are golden nuggets, or gems, you can find here.

MY WRITER'S PRAYER

Lord, I want every word I type to be Yours, not mine. Guide my pen (my typing) moment by moment. Use me. Mold me and shape me. I just want to show You glory through what I write and journal.

Please reveal to me "THE" book and series You want me to write. Help me hear You clearly. Help me to take the time to write it YOU desire, not me.

I will stop thinking, "This year, I've got to write THE book," and will change my thinking to Your plan, your timing, Your book.

I thought I was doing this all along, but I realize that when I think I have an idea, I run at it full speed. I keep trying to run a sprint with my writing. But, I've never been a sprint runner (physically--not just in my writing). I keep trying to do it with my writing. In running, a marathon is more my size and speed. So, why would I think my writing would be any different?

I think You're trying to tell me to slow down and listen far more to You than what I ever write.

What is wrong with writing two books per year, rather than three or four?

God, what genre? Nonfiction or fiction?

Or, am I to write two books a year, one fiction and one nonfiction?

Am I to keep doing the miscellaneous blog posts and combine it into a book at the end of the year, when I see a repeating theme or something?

Lord, I keep feeling the pull to do NaNoWriMo in November this year. (NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month--which I can write a nonfiction book and it doesn't have to be fiction.) Are You telling me to do it--or am I hoping to do it? There is a big difference.

At this point, I am fairly certain You are telling me to write a book of the faith of 1 Corinthians 12:9a, but I'm not sure. I keep also getting the feeling You are telling me to wait. Not yet. Give it some time.

I also keep having the inclination You're telling me to write about life and journaling.

Again, I turn forty--I mean four decades old--on September 13th. Maybe that should be my journaling entry and blog post series if nothing else for now. We shall see.

Faith and My Writing Prayer, Notebook, and Journaling

September 05, 2014, 1256 p.m., Friday

Prayer Journal, Writing Notebook and Journaling, Bible Journaling,

Lord, what do YOU want me to write? Please guide me. I want to do nothing but Your will. I want every word I capture on the page to be Your words, not mine. Your will, not mine.

1 Corinthians 12:9a keeps coming to mind...

1 Corinthians 12:4-11 The Message (MSG)

4-11 God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful:

wise counsel

clear understanding

simple trust

healing the sick

miraculous acts

proclamation

distinguishing between spirits

tongues

interpretation of tongues.

All these gifts have a common origin, but are handed out one by one by the one Spirit of God. He decides who gets what, and when.

The Message (MSG)

1 Corinthians 12:9 Names of God Bible (NOG)

9 To another person the same Spirit gives courageous faith. To another person the same Spirit gives the ability to heal.

Names of God Bible (NOG)

The word of FAITH in 1 Corinthians 12:9a can be studied here:

http://biblehub.com/greek/4102.htm

I am swept away all the more now.

The Gift of faith, as the previous version says, a courageous faith, was given to me by God.

Why me and not someone else? I sure don't deserve it. I am quite unworthy. I am a simpleton, a nobody.

But, isn't that why it's a gift? It's a blessings, a way God shows me His favor. He has given it to me not because of anything I've done or haven't done.

It doesn't escape me how He has given this gift to others. It's not just me. But, He's given this gift to me because He has a reason. He has a plan.

What does any of this have to do with my writing? I'm not sure. I just keep feeling pulled to this verse--like I need to study it and then I will receive the answers I seek regarding my writing. So, I am. Let's see... Back to studying 1 Corinthians 12:9a. Be right back.

Have Your way with me and my writing, Abba. In the name of Jesus Christ, use me and my writing as Your vessel. I am yours. And so is my writing.

Huh! Look at this:

Romans 12:3 Expanded Bible (EXB)

3 Because God has given me ·a special gift [his grace], I have something to say to everyone among you. Do not think you are better than you are. [Instead] You must ·decide what you really are [think sensibly; think with sober discernment] ·by [based on; in accordance with] the amount of faith God has given you.

Expanded Bible (EXB)

Look at the last part of the verse in particular.

God has given us the amount of faith we have.

Romans 12:3 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

3 For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

So, what happens, or what does it mean, when someone doesn't have a lot of faith?

I'm not sure if I put the previous verses, plus this one, together or now until now. Interesting. Look at this next verse:

Ephesians 2:8-9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Faith is a gift of God.

Okay... So, what about those who don't believe? What does this mean for and about them?

Faith is given as a gift by God.

God, so where are we going with this? What does the gift of faith mean to me today? Why have You shared this with me today--not someone else--and why now--and how have You equipped me for this today?

And, Abba, what do you want me to write?

Guide me. Help me to hear You and to respond accordingly and immediately.

Huh. Blank. I'm coming up blank. Not hearing You. Are You saying it isn't time? I will wait. I will continue to study Your Word and pray in the meanwhile.

And, what books do I have about the Bible and faith?

Friday, September 5, 2014

Writing Notebook and Journaling: What Am I Supposed to Write? (Round 3, I think.)

2014-09-05 11:42:50, Friday

This passage and verse has brought my writing to a screeching halt once again. (Sigh, but also cheering.)

1 Corinthians 12:7-10 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

7 A demonstration of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial:

8 to one is given a message of wisdom
through the Spirit,
to another, a message of knowledge
by the same Spirit,
9 to another, faith by the same Spirit,
to another, gifts of healing by the one Spirit,
10 to another, the performing of miracles,
to another, prophecy,
to another, distinguishing between spirits,
to another, different kinds of languages,
to another, interpretation of languages.

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

1 Corinthians 12:9 and the part about 'Faith' is what has my attention. It's grabbed me and won't let go.

What if I'm not supposed to write fiction? Is fiction meant to be a distraction? Can I write the same stories, but as nonfiction? Or, is this very line of though a distraction?

Ugh. Let me try to express my questions and concerns in another way:

PRAYER

Lord, what do YOU want me to write?

More specifically, what blog post series, what book or book series, do YOU want me to write? What is Your purpose? I do not want to write one word that isn't Yours.

Journaling is my greatest strength and is who I am.

Okay, I'm not sure why I wrote the last sentence, but something told me to do so. Therefore, I did.

Am I supposed to write letters to God?

Am I supposed to write letters to God about my concerns?

Am I supposed to write letters to God about my concerns about our nation, the Church in the USA, politics, the Church as a whole, the Middle East, and the world?

Or, Lord, do You have something else in mind?

The easy way keeps coming to mind as well.

As does faith.

How do you develop a faith in spite of everything I just mentioned? That's another idea.

I cannot help but think of several conversations I've had with Granny about how we cannot imagine what it's like to live in our world and not have faith in God and in Jesus Christ. Life is tough enough. How can anyone live without faith?

Does any of this resonate? Is any of this what I'm supposed to write?

The Gift of Faith in a Stormy Morning: An AHA Moment

Original Title for this Post: Is It a Hit Rewind or Fast Forward Type of Morning?: News and Grief: The Bible and Prayer

Secondary Title: A Personal Prayer, Blessing, Bible Journal Entry (2014-09-05 09:18:19, Fri.)

NOTE TO READER: If you journal, this entry is one I hope inspires you in every sentence to journal your thoughts and response. If you are a writer, I hope it inspires you to write a book.

This is one of those journaling and blog entries in which I am not sure what to title. It's jammed back with several nuggets, treasures, AHA moments, powerful and moving material, and my emotional and thoughtful response.

REWIND OR FAST FORWARD?

Sometimes, I cannot help but wonder if I want a do-over (rewind) or if I should fast forward a couple of hours and start there instead. This morning has been one of those days. It hasn't been a great morning by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm not sure if God is allowing this yuck to happen to my husband and I, knowing we'd be faithful. Thinking of Job here and:

Job 1:6-12 New Century Version (NCV)

6 One day the angels came to show themselves before the Lord, and Satan was with them. 7 The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “I have been wandering around the earth, going back and forth in it.”

8 Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job? No one else on earth is like him. He is an honest and innocent man, honoring God and staying away from evil.”

9 But Satan answered the Lord, “Job honors God for a good reason. 10 You have put a wall around him, his family, and everything he owns. You have blessed the things he has done. His flocks and herds are so large they almost cover the land. 11 But reach out your hand and destroy everything he has, and he will curse you to your face.”

12 The Lord said to Satan, “All right, then. Everything Job has is in your power, but you must not touch Job himself.” Then Satan left the Lord’s presence.

New Century Version (NCV)

Or, if God is giving us answers that where we thought He was leading is not really the place.

Or, if it was just a bad morning, where we have the choice to allow it to get to us--or rise above.

PRAYER

I guess time will tell. Regardless, I know I am in desperate need to snuggle in with the Word and You, Lord. I know You are always, without fail, the answer. I also know You have perfect plans and perfect timing. I trust in all You do--and in what You allow. Nothing escapes Your notice--and nothing can take Your presence from me. You are my all in all. You have never failed us yet. Never. I hope, trust, have faith in, and place my total confidence in You.

You are my Rock, my Firm Foundation, my Strength, the Way, the Truth, and the Life. You are my Savior, Rescuer, Daddy, Teacher, Friend.

To You alone be the glory!

Blessing 730 Thank You for my absolute confidence in You, even when I feel unsteady.

NEWS AND GRIEF

I also read several news articles online about ISIS and Christians in Iraq, Lebanon, Syria, the Middle East--and that added to my blahness this morning.

Two American journalists were executed. Beheaded. Murdered. And, our government has not responded accordingly. This really bothers me.

Christians are having to flee from their homes of CENTURIES--and the world isn't responding. The USA isn't responding. Christians aren't responding.

This bothers me.

I am beyond disturbed. I am outraged. I am righteously indignant. Angry.

And, I am sad.

Hence, I know what all of this means today. I am grieving. I am grieving about some news B (my husband) and I received first thing this morning. I am grieving because of the two Americans. I am grieving for Christians in the Middle East.

And, I am also grieving--furious--sad--horrified--stunned over this:

Fox News Headline: "Top CIA officer in Benghazi delayed response to terrorist attack, US security team members claim"

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2014/09/05/top-cia-official-in-benghazi-delayed-response-to-terrorist-attack-us-security/

Please, I beg of you. Do not look at the link and then skip over it. Read every word of the link. Please. It's important.

So, yes. I am outraged. Sad.

And, it's more than the American govenment that has me grieving. It's the American people. And, it's Christians in particular.

THE EASY WAY IS NOT THE BEST WAY

And, another thought and question keeps coming to mind through this:

Why do most of us think the best way is the easy way?

I cannot name one instance in my life where the best way has been the short or the easy way. Not one.

And, the easy way goes against everything the Bible tells us to do. Everything. It's the wrong way. It's also usually intentional sin that makes us travel the easy path.

(Again, looking in the mirror. Not casting stones. The first one would be aimed at myself. This is a reminder to me--especially after this morning.)

BRING IT ALL AROUND FULL-CIRCLE

So, do I hit rewind or fast forward on this day?

Look at the Verse of the Day on BibleGateway.com:

Matthew 28:18-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

18 Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. 19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

New Living Translation (NLT)

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright© 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. (731)

All nations.

The USA included.

The Middle East included.

ALL nations.

Christians, how are we bringing about this in our world today? In our home? On our block? In our city? In our state? In our region? In our country? In the Middle East? In our world?

How are we doing this individually, in our personal church, and in the church as a whole?

DAILY BIBLE READING

I need to read my readings from Friday 8/29/2014 through today. It looks like I need to read Psalms 143-147 and 1 Corinthians 10:19-1 Corinthians 15:28

Psalm 143:4-10 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

4 That is why I begin to lose hope
and my heart is in a state of shock.

5 I remember the days long ago.
    I reflect on all that you have done.
    I carefully consider what your hands have made.
6 I stretch out my hands to you in prayer.
    Like parched land, my soul thirsts for you. Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O Lord.
    My spirit is worn out.
    Do not hide your face from me,
    or I will be like those who go into the pit.
8 Let me hear about your mercy in the morning,
    because I trust you.
    Let me know the way that I should go,
    because I long for you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord.
    I come to you for protection.

10 Teach me to do your will, because you are my God.
May your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

Amen and amen! These verses really speak to me right now. Thank You Lord for each of those verses--and for showing them to me at this time. (733)

Lord, my mind is all over the place. Help me to focus on You.

This reminds me of some verses from yesterday I said I wanted to ponder, contemplate, pray, and think on for a while.

So, the following verses and Psalm 143:5 are verses I want to keep turning to today, this weekend, and as long as I feel pressed to do so.

Psalm 141:1-4 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

A Davidic psalm.

1 Lord, I call on You; hurry to help me.
Listen to my voice when I call on You.
2 May my prayer be set before You as incense,
the raising of my hands as the evening offering.

3 Lord, set up a guard for my mouth;
keep watch at the door of my lips.
4 Do not let my heart turn to any evil thing
or perform wicked acts
with men who commit sin.
Do not let me feast on their delicacies.

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Blessing 734 All of Psalm 145.

Psalm 145:2-5 Expanded Bible (EXB)

2 I will ·praise [bless] you every day;
I will praise ·you [L your name] forever and ever.
3 The Lord is great and ·worthy of our praise [greatly to be praised; 48:1];
·no one can understand how great he is [L there is no searching out/limit to his greatness].

4 ·Parents [L A generation] will ·tell their children [L praise to a generation] what you have done.
They will ·retell [proclaim] your mighty acts,
5 ·wonderful majesty, and glory [L and the majestic glory of your splendor; C God’s manifest presence].
And I will ·think about [meditate on] your ·miracles [wonderful works].

Expanded Bible (EXB)

Another passage to think on for a while--and pray.

736 and 737 Friends--blessings.

2014-09-05 10:34:46-- I am marking this time for a moment. A big AHA moment just occurred for me and I am wiping tears of joy from my face (738). It came from this passage:

1 Corinthians 12:8-10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit; 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 and to another the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues.

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Every individual, who is a Christ-Follower, is given at least one gift by God and sometimes more. Sometimes, a person may have the same gift for all of their lives. Other times, we may have different gifts for different seasons, which I think is far more common.

It's been a while since I visited the 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 passages, as well as others about the gifts of the Spirit. I just read them once. Then, God told me to read through them prayerfully to see if any applied to me and my life. So, I did. (Oh, boy, did I!)

What the Lord revealed to me has me in tears again, and several times since I read it, and it's just been a few short minutes.

It's verse 9, part a... The part about 'faith' that spoke to me, and speaks to me, so clearly.

Crystal clear.

Four by four over the head clear (bigger than a two by four, mind you).

Flashing neon sign clear.

I now have been given this spiritual gift--the Gift of Faith.

It has come with a high cost of life experience.

Receiving this gift has been a journey. It wasn't something God just bestowed upon me overnight. He grew me into it. This journey has brought me great anguish throughout the course of my life. And, it's brought out the worst in me at times. It's also brought out the best in me at other times.

Blessing 740 1 Corinthians 12:9a. The Gift of the Spirit of Faith. FAITH.

The last two years or so have been full of many a storm. Many heartaches. Many times of great concern. Periods of mild depression and even anxiety (all self-induced, mind you). The blows seem to keep coming. And coming. And coming. (Today is no exception.)

And, I will not sugar coat or deny something. The period of life, and the choices my husband and I are facing, and the vast and great unknowns, is difficult on the best day.

But, through the course of the last two years. Through the last year. Through the last six months. Through the last couple of weeks. Through this week. Through today... Through it all I have known this:

God has perfect plans, perfect timing, perfect power and control. He's got this.

Over the last two years, I have known this firmly and strongly. I've been able to shout it from the mountain tops and whisper it deep in my soul. GOD IS IN CONTROL. He will never fail me. He never has, never will. He's got this.

I always hoped to have a strong faith. I prayed for it. I longed for it. I even doubted if I would ever get it. But, here it is. I have faith.

No, that's not true. I have FAITH. Underscore. Bold. Italics. Shouted. Whispered. Cheered. Danced. Cried with joy. Given thanks. Counted blessings.

I have faith.

And, now I know where I got it. It was not through anything I've done or haven't done. It's only by the grace and blessing of God. It's only through the Spirit's Gift of Faith that I have it.

Faith.

Faith, faith, faith.

I approach the throne with confidence.

I do not need to see the way illuminated. I know He will direct my steps for me, for they are His steps.

I do not need to know why-- except in this regard: Why me--and not someone else? How has He gifted me to handle this? And, why now and not another time? And, what lessons are to be learned and shared?

I just trust. It's an absolute blind faith most of the time (Hebrews 11:1)--and I'm okay with that. How am I? Because of what He does through it. He accomplished His purposes and is given glory. Does anything else matter? Really? No. It does not.

Wow. Wonder of wonders.

Thank You, Lord. (741) Thank You for the Gift of Faith. Given by You alone--and not through anything I've done or haven't done. To You be the glory.

1 Corinthians 12:9 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

9 to another, faith by the same Spirit,
to another, gifts of healing by the one Spirit,

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Here is a link for research on 1 Corinthians 12:9:

http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/12-9.htm

I am confident, and have full faith, in His blessing. A blessing is how He shows favor. It's how He reveals His glory. That He will answer ALL prayers. Without fail.

And, this link:

http://biblehub.com/commentaries/1_corinthians/12-9.htm

I am absolutely confident in the promises of God. In the Word of God.

I have a faith in You, Lord, that is deeper than I've ever known. I trust in You without fail.

I amy not see where You are leading. I may not know when, where, or how. But, I know You will lead me and direct my steps. I do not need to see. I know that I know that I know You are in control. I just need to remain in You and in Your Word.

FULL CIRCLE ROUND TWO

Now I see why this morning, and this week, and this month... etc. have been so stormy. I can see clearly now. It was for this. For this. Echoing. FOR this. For THIS. FOR THIS.

It was so I could see You have given me the Gift of the Spirit of Faith--for such a time as this.

Now that I know this, what now? That is the question. Lord, please guide me. I'm Yours.

To You be all glory, honor, and praise-forever and ever.

I--have--faith.