19 DAYS AND COUNTING
I cannot believe it's been nineteen days since Kara went Home. Nineteen days since we made the decision to put her to sleep before she suffered. I cannot help but feel at times she was stolen from us. We just didn't have her long enough.
Then, I try to look at things with reason and logic. We had her seven months longer than we were supposed to, according to the veterinarian. So, oh, how we are thankful for that.
And, if you knew Kara, you would know one day with her was larger than life and full of love. We had her one year and six days. Could we be more blessed?
She knew a life she never had prior... and she had it for over a year. She knew love for the first time. She learned how to be loved and how to love extravagantly. Again... what blessings!
I should count the blessings we had with her and since. I shouldn't want her back. I should be grateful for what we had with her and how we can live fuller lives because of her.
But, oh, how I miss her. The problem is there is so much to miss. Kara girl looked like the size of a kitten, but her heart and spirit were larger than Alaska.
Rather than be sad, I try to count my blessings.
THE CLAW
Yesterday I ripped off the bandage and did something B and I were not ready to do, but knew we had to... it was hard, but a blessing was found. Kara hung out mainly in our bedroom and in our guest bedroom, and sometimes in my study. So, yesterday, I decided to clean the sheets on the guest bed.
Sinan, our other cat, came to give me a hand... I mean a paw. I'm not sure if he came to stop me or to hang out with me. He sniffed for her in all her favorite spots as I put my hand there and tried not to sob. His head fell forward and his shoulders slumped as we both looked and remembered. Then, as I pulled back the sheet to strip it from the bed and I gasped. I didn't expect it. I felt pure joy and anguish rush through my system at once in response. There was a claw there.
I took it as a hug from the Lord.
I reached for it and added it to the baggy we have of a whisker and some of her fur we have found. Silly, I know. Some would say it's ridiculous. But, they are physical reminders of a cat who was here... a blessing from the Lord... and I want to count those blessings as much as I can as often as I can and those physical reminders help me to do so. Silly? Probably. But, if it deepens my faith and helps me appreciate my blessings, I would rather be silly and do silly things. It's worth it.
A hug indeed.
THE DIFFERENT SECTIONS OF THESE BLOG POSTS
I write each blog post throughout the day, a day to a couple of weeks before they post. And when I write them, I write them in segments. I write a section and then go do something else for a while (like reading the holy book and prayer, never mind housekeeping) and then come back to it. I do not write it all in one setting. Consequently, if you sense a change in my feelings or thoughts as you read, it's because an hour or more might pass between each segment or section.
THE PLANS FOR BOOKS 1 AND 2: A BOOK OF FAITH AND AN INTERACTIVE DEVOTIONAL MEMOIR AND PET JOURNAL
Book 1: I am writing the first book in the Moments with Kara series as a book of faith, and will even talk about the Lord and prayer, and may even quote some Old Testament verses from time to time. But, I want to keep this generic enough anyone can read it and get a lot out of it, regardless of what one believes. I want faith in general and life to be the focus and the blessings and lessons received from Kara the feral cancer cat.
Book 2: This will be a Christian focused book. It will be more of a devotional memoir of sorts, where you will interact with the book.
I hope this helps you know my heart and where I am/we are headed and to know my present focus.
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS DURING THIS SEASON OF THANKS
As I mentioned yesterday, I have tried the last couple of years to live a life of thanks, not just a holiday or season of thanksgiving. However, in October through the end of the year, I try to step it up a notch or two and count even more blessings. After all, every moment, in every situation, and in days of sun or days of rain (my way of saying good times and challenging times), it is important that o be thankful and show gratitude. Every moment is blessed.
Every moment has its blessing. All. Without fail.
The catch is are we going to just let our blessings pass us by, or will we choose to look for them and count them?
Just the thought of missing a blessing makes me sad. I don't ever want to miss one blessing.
A blessing is when the Lord shows us favor.
It's when He throws us a bone, so to speak. Or, is a hug from Him to us. It's how He shows us love and teaches us about Himself. He loves us unconditionally and without limit. Hence, He blesses us. And every moment is blessed. He wants to show us constantly how much He loves us.
Kara is/was a very large blessing. She was for us and we were for her. She showed how blessed she knew she was. She purred almost non-stop. Even when her lungs were filled with cancer... Even as she died in B's arms and as she rubbed her face and head all over my hands... She died purring. She died showing love and counting her blessings in her own cat way.
This is why it is so important for me to count my blessings... always... and especially until the end of the year as I try to count far more each day than I usually do.
Will you join me and count our blessings this day?
