Remembering Your Present Stories: The writing blog of Stacy Duplease, a 34+ year journal keeper and writer of nonfiction and fiction.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Praying the Bible and Psalm 119:28
Lord, You and your Word have perfect timing. I had no idea I was battling the familiar grief until...
Lord, as You know, I started out praying another verse today. However, I was stopped in my tracks after I read a Christian blog post about Mother's Day. The next thing I knew, I was a sobbing mess, which is rare for me these days, and I had something dawn on me. And, it seems in my times of tears You teach me so wonderfully. I think it is because of the verse I want to pray today.
This thought makes me smile. One that is easily found because I have Your Word tucked in way deep inside so silly emotional moments are short-lived while Your Word, and its impact, are eternal.
Gotta love it when I sit at our dining room table, windows and blinds wide open with multiple houses could look in as I cry. Sheesh. I was too transfixed to move. The blog post got my attention. It was for those who have lost a child or who are childless.
Ugh. I have pulled myself together, Abba. The tears start again. I still sit at the same dining room table. Maybe if I don't sob and just let the tears fall, no one will tell what I'm really doing. Or, why should I care?
Lord, You know how hard Mother's Day around Father's Day is for us, for B (my hubby) and me. It's the days we wish we could lack ourselves away a reminded pretend like it isn't happening. We do not go to church. We try not to make any plans. We just get lost in our own little world.
We do not regret not having kids. We couldn't. And, in many ways, we are at peace we didn't have them. But, there are times we miss what could have been. What should have been. If it wasn't for Eve and that fruit, this would never had been a problem.
I still think it is kind of funny, Lord, how both of us are infertile. Not one. Both. It kind of helps since neither one of us have to feel the guilt since we cannot. We both cannot, so no guilt ever known here. Thank you for that.
There was a verse that got me through the second time IVF didn't work. It comes to mind from time to time still.
It is what held me up after the realization we would never have children of our own. Other than four-leggeds. And, oh how we have invested in them!
What makes Mother's Day particularly difficult this year is how we lost two of our four-leggeds. One at the end of September 2015 and the other at the end of January 2016. Two losses in four months, Lord.
So, Father God, we are childless and have lost two.
Ouch.
I haven't cried about Kara cat, Zack Beagle, or not having children in quite some time. Not a cry like I cried today.
But, that verse, Lord. That verse came to mind and I realized it is the perfect verse to pray. Particularly today. Particularly since I am also grieving the pain terrorism has caused. A U.S. Navy SEAL was lost in battle today in Iraq. It is terrible to have to fight war, but terrorists cannot be allowed to torture, rape, and slaughter people like they are. It is necessary to fight this war, but the wounded and deaths that result are terrible losses. I thank You, Lord, for them and their sacrifices so I can sit here blubbering at my dining room table. This loss puts mine into proper perspective.
Lord, I cry for his family, friends, and team. I cry to You to bring comfort and resolve that this war is a just one and that his sacrifice was truly worthwhile and will not be forgotten. I will uphold everyone associated with him in my prayers. His loss. Before Mother's Day... Lord, be with those left behind and bring them this verse...
PRAYING THE BIBLE AND PSALM 119:28
Your Word says how David was weary and heavy and he wept from sorrow and grief. He asked You, Lord, to strengthen and encourage him from and through Your Word and its promises.
Lord, my heart is heavy. Encourage and strengthen me according to the promises of Your Word.
This verse is a prayer and is about the Word. It is a perfect verse to show and display how to pray the Bible and it tells why it is so important to pray the Bible to begin with, God.
Strengthen me by the promises of the Bible, Lord.
My strength is insufficient at best.
I seek real strength. Strength of an all-powerful, all-loving, ever-present, all-knowing God is truly real strength. And, I get that strength through praying Your Word.
Praying Your Word is like weight training. It's good strength building.
Lord, help me keep turning to the Bible, to You alone, for strength. Your strength, given through praying the Word, is infinitely better than my strength.
Praying the Bible is the answer to everything and everyone.
Thank You, Daddy, for all of this. To You be the glory forever and ever.
Please give Your strength to all associated with the fallen U.S. service member.
Also, give Your strength to all families and friends who have lost loved ones because of terror.
God, encourage and strengthen all of those who have lost a mom, lost a child, or cannot have children.
Anyone hurting today is this crazy, mixed-up world, please let Your beautiful Word encourage them and give them strength.
Strengthen us and encourage us through You Word, Lord. All the time.
Help us to continually seek the Bible to pray all day long so we can continually, moment by moment, be enriched by Your Word.
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