Blessings Journal (Aug.19.2014h.)
2014-08-19 16:29:10
There hasn't been one day in the last forty years (almost) of my life with that I haven't wanted to have a baby, a child. Every day my heart longs for one. Every day I long to share You, Lord, with a child and raise them in Jesus and in Your Word.
{NOTE: Everything in writing now is on August 20, 2014, Wednesday.}
This is what reading part of Chapter One of ONE THOUSAND GIFTS by Ann Voskamp has stirred up. Sigh.
184 The ability to commune with You, Father. To talk with You one on one and without having to rely on someone else to pray to You on my behalf. Prayer is quite the blessing.
Then, B came home and we had our foundations shaken... Yesterday, I thanked You, Lord, for helping provide answers about our future... Well... You most certainly made us retook at things...
So, this lady, the one who hadn't had much sleep three nights prior got less sleep once again, but it wasn't because of tossing and turning. It was since B (hubby) and I stayed up so late, discussing our options and we searched for answers. Once we came to the conclusion of: Pray on it. We have until August 25 to come up with some answers... and can stop the ball rolling after that if we are lead in another direction. Nothing requires decisions this day. We will turn to You, God, and listen more than we talk. (I hope and pray.)
185 I slept peacefully in spite of what happened. 186 And so did B.
{NOTE TO READER: I will repeat everything I just started, and will expand greatly upon it. But, first, I have other stuff to journal. Bear with me. I've just left you hanging with two pretty powerful cliffhangers. It wasn't my intent, but life happened, as it can.}
{ANOTHER NOTE TO READER AND BLESSING 187: Most of the blessings I've mentioned, it is my intent to write more about, and more in-depth and detail, at a later date. I'm trying to create at least an outline I can go back and expand upon later.}
Blessings Journal (Aug.20.2014a.)
2014-08-20 06:41:19, Wednesday
I know a new definition of early.
Let me now list a blessing I keep forgetting to add to help explain a new definition of early.
188 I am happiest and most content if I rise early and have always been an early riser. Stay up late? What? Be up after ten? That is simply not in my vocabulary. (I chuckle. This is so me.)
189 One of the best part of the morning every day, and going downstairs to welcome the day, is a major blessing to me. As my feet hit the floor, there is a light switch I hit to turn on the lights in our family room, our main hang-out, and Harry's tank is in front of me. So, when I turn on the lights, I turn on the turtle (figuratively). Because a still tank becomes full of waves from excited and pronounced movement and then the splashing begins as he bids me good morning and I wave at him and smile. He moves his head to acknowledge my wave. I would say hi, but I'm not fully awake yet. This comes in a bit.
So, back to the definition of early? (I headed downstairs at six a.m. after being up until almost midnight, B, Harry, Shelly, and me. Cat and dog slept.) I turned on the lights of the family room and Harry didn't budge. I headed to the sofa to set down my cell and Amazon Kindle Fire, like I usually do. At this point, Harry is so enthusiastic to say hi it amazes me his tank.doesn't move and crash to the floor because he's trying to get my attention, say hi, and beg for his food. But, this morning... Nothing.
I can't explain it. I knew he was okay. I didn't have an alarm bell going off in my head something was wrong. I chuckled and hollered upstairs to tell hubby how I learned the new definition of early. B chuckled as well, as I hoped. Then, I looked back toward Harry and his head was out of the water--190. But, there was no movement yet as he tried to wake up.
So, now I know what early means. (Another chuckle.)
Phew. I couldn't wait to get that down on the page. I didn't want to lose that nugget. 191.
192 Zack is snuggling with meon the sofa.
193 I hear Shelly moving around in the study.
194 Harry is basking as he patiently waits for food.
195 Sinan just walked through.
196 I'm having time right now with You, God. You are so worthwhile.
197 B has to beat work early, so we are up earlier than normal, but not much. It's just that we were up so late. The blessing I am counting is we woke up on time. Moreover, what he's doing is worthwhile and makes a huge difference 198. Lord, use him.
199 A new perspective and point-of-view. A new way of looking at things.
200 For Your answer in advance.
201 The reminder how rarely are decisions an emergency and require an immediate response. In fact, few things in life do.
202 Before B left, he mentioned how he was surprised he didn't lose any sleep over this. I told him me, too. (Yes. I counted this blessing before, but our conversation wasn't counted yet.) This is saying something. Neither one of us lost sleep.
Now, what does this mean? Lord, guide us. Please give us both clear answers. We don't want to settle or make a rash decision. This decision impacts the next forty years plus. To the core. It is the core, apart from You.
(Top and garden image credit: Stacy Duplease and Remembering Your Present, LLC. August 2014. Norfolk Botanical Garden.)
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