Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Blessing of Repeated Mistakes


I keep making the same mistake. Repeatedly. Over and over. I am a woman of redundancy with this error. I am constant with this wrongdoing.  (Have I made my point yet? I ask with a mild grin.)

The worst part is how I know I keep making it. I learn from my wrongdoing. I have my eyes opened. I repent and turn from my wicked ways. It works for a while. I even excel with doing it right. For a while.  Then, I slip and fall into my own ways. 

Ugh. 

It gets worse. I have repeated the exact same mistake off and on for over two and a half years now... Actually, it has been since Wednesday, November 06, 2013. 

I hang my head as I make this confession. 

How can I be such a fool?

How can I keep hurting myself in such a way and so deeply? 

When am I going to learn and apply what I learn? My life would be drastically different if I did. Is it because much is required for me to do so? Do I keep slipping because I realize how much I need to change in order to live in such a manner?

The previous paragraph is an important one, I realize I need to think and pray on for a while. And, I shall. 

I keep forgetting to count my blessings. This is my thorn. This is my error and repeated mistake. It is the one I have made since November 2012. 

The Bible says repeatedly and in different ways to always give thanks and to be grateful for everything.

This is how I should live. 

It is a blessing to make this mistake repeatedly because I know what it means to not count my blessings. I know the difference of what my life is like if I do count them. 

It is how I want to live.

I want to live a life of infinite blessing.

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