NOVEMBER 07, 2014 STORIES OF BLESSING

BLESSINGS ANNIVERSARY AND WHENEVER I STOP COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

Written 2014-11-06 13:27:55, Thursday

MY BLESSINGS COUNTING ANNIVERSARY (Nov. 06, 2013):
MY BLESSINGS COUNTING STORY 

Precisely one year ago, I devoted myself to counting my blessings and be a blessings counter. 

It hasn't been an every day thing for me, which I regret now looking back over the last year. 

It's rather ironic because I hadn't realized it was my blessing counting anniversary until a couple of minutes ago when I looked it up in my journaling and previous Blessings Counted Lists. Wow. I knew it was around this time a year ago, but I had no idea it was then.

So, happy blessings counting anniversary to me. It's been a year.

What made me start to do this practice? 

Desperation is the simplest answer. 

I was grieving and wanted to find something constructive to do rather than feel sorry for myself. 

Whenever I'm dealing with a storm in my life (a challenge), I try to journal through it. Journaling is my refuge and is what helps give me clarity. It's the most rewarding thing I go, particularly since I do prayer journaling and I journal in order to put my life on the page and leave a legacy. 

However, a year ago, journaling just hurt too much. (I wish I had now, though.)

Needless to say, I tried to find a way to journal that would be beneficial for me and would be something I could do and not stir up too much pain. That was when I started to read a book, "One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live fully Right Where You Are" by Ann Voskamp. It was from her, and her book, I got the idea to count my blessings. A friend challenged her to count 1,000 blessings and write them down and she described in her book how it changed her and her life. 

This had great appeal to me since I didn't want to focus on the yuck in my life and wanted to deal with my grief in a more healthy way. It wasn't my typical journaling or prayer journaling. Rather, it was reflecting on my life, moment by moment, day by day, for all of my life--before and now. It was searching for blessing.

Searching for blessing.

Counting my blessings. 

Keeping a Blessings Counted List became my lifeline. 

For a while. (I will explain that in a few.)

I remember how thrilled I was to do the list. It helped me indeed--and in immeasurable ways. I am so grateful I found it more than an exercise, more than another journaling technique, instead it's a way of life. 

THEN THINGS CHANGED: MISTAKES MADE AND LESSONS LEARNED IN COUNTING MY BLESSINGS

After a while, though, it stopped meaning the same. And, it hurt to count my blessings. I had a constant reminder of everything not on the list that I wanted to be: having a baby, raising a child, the joys of parenting, etc. That hurt. This added pain to the pain I had already. So, counting my blessings got pushed to the side. 

I regret this now. 

Lesson learned. 

I also didn't dig into the grief at the time and try to find the deeper blessings. This is another regret. The blessings I did count were rather shallow and I just surface-skimmed. I could have, should have gone deeper.

Lesson learned. 

When I say regret, I mean it passing. I refuse to ever dwell on what could have should have been. It's the past and can't be changed. But, I can see something and wish I would have done it differently, and for a second I feel that regret. That is how long I choose to hold onto regret. Long enough to get it written down on the page, figure out what I can do differently next time, learn the lesson, and move on. 

Lesson learned.

Two mistakes I will not repeat.

I realize now if I would have looked head on at the time, and tried to find every blessing I could through the grief, it would have been the biggest blessing I could have had and would have helped me heal.  

Counting my blessings of the storms in my life can hurt. Yes. I will not deny the fact. However, there are times in life we have to work through the pain, and the pain might even get worse as we do, because on the road to healing we have to go through that pain in order to completely, thoroughly heal.

The physical therapy we do after an injury is a prime example. More pain leads to healing. But, the pain is a different pain altogether. This pain isn't pointless. You know the pain will lead to healing. It's the same way with counting our blessings. 

Oh, how I wish I would have know then what I know now. 

The story does not stop here. I only dug myself into a deeper pit in April.

In April, there was another blog my husband and I sustained. In some ways, like being infertile, this one has been in our minds every single day. The April event changed all, and I mean all, of our future plans. It halted them in their tracks. And, we had to rethink our future and replan it. 

It was a terrible blog, on top of the infertility blow. Either one on their own were tough enough. Stack them together, months apart, and it compounded our grief. And, I didn't count my blessings like I should and when I did, I didn't go deep. 

Then, after my husband and I decided about a month ago not to have a child, and to volunteer at a hospital, nursing home, and hospice (and be there to support the patients and listen to their stories of blessing) instead, I started to count my blessings again. 

I have come to realize being a blessings counter is an identity and it is a way of life. 

I would sure rather count my blessings than count all of the horrible things that have happened in my life. I count the blessings through the latter, though, and this has made all of the difference. 

LESSONS LEARNED: I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN FROM ME WHAT NOT TO DO AND WHAT TO DO

Count your blessings each and every day, without failing, even if it is just one. 

Make sure to write it down.

And, then think on it over the next twenty-four hours or so. Thinking on it can help you to find more blessings to count. 

Do not ever stop counting your blessings. Ever. Go back over past blessings if you want or need. 

If you cannot think of a blessing, look around where you are. I guarantee you can find at least ten things to be grateful for and can count them--and I bet as you do that you will think of other blessings to count. 

Counting blessings spawns other blessings. They're like rabbits and multiply at a very fast pace--when you are intentionally and actively searching for them to count. 

Figure out a system to make it easy to retrieve your blessings lists--past and present. (I will discuss this in later blog posts.)

Counting your blessings during a time of pain helps you heal quicker and puts things into proper perspective. 

If you ever wonder if you should count something as a blessing, do. Don't dismiss it. There is a reason why it came to mind. 

Count the blessings in other people's lives as well as your own. I call this stealing blessings. Steal frequently and thoroughly. 

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TIMING

Written 2014-11-07 08:17:24, Friday

RECOLLECTIONS

The old cliche is true. Timing really is everything. Now, let me add how there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Everything. Without fail.

Yesterday, I shared the story of my journey of deciding to be a blessings counter and how this was a new part of my identity. 

when I am now asked, "What do you do for a living?" I try to say, "I'm a blessings counter and I help others to count their blessings as well. You might call me a blessings coach."

And...

"Who are you?"

"I'm a blessings counter. You?"

I pause and take this in as I write this and share it with you. 

I cannot think of anything more meaningful. This is my purpose: Blessings Counter and Blessings Coach, then wife, writer, and mom to five four-legged critter kiddos. 

I also shared yesterday how I started my blessings counted list a year ago yesterday. 

Again, I pause and take this in for a moment and absorb its significance. It's really big and enormously important. (Yes, I am being intentionally and purposefully redundant again to make a point. Have I made it? I ask with an impish grin.) 

I also shared how I have not been the best with sticking to it, the counting of my blessings and the lessons learned the hard way of what not to do. After all, when I have gone through some very painful times, I thought counting my blessings hurt too much. Hindsight has since taught me how sometimes things have to hurt worse as they heal, and I wished I would have kept counting my blessings in spite of the storms and challenges.

And that, my friend, is when we come around full circle to timing being perfect and being everything.

THE PERFECTION OF TIME

The things that happen in our lives are for a purpose and so is the order in which they come. I was reminded of this firsthand yesterday and I was tested to see if I really learned by blessings counting lessons.

Three days ago, our newest cat who was a feral and is now indoor old lady kitty, Kara, started getting sick. Rushed her to the veterinarian. (Yes. It was that bad.) The vet, bless her, ran new blood work and did a full body exam. Found a lump on Kara's nipple. Took a sample to send to lab. (Gulp.) Then, did a urine analysis to see if Kara has/had an UTI or kidney problems.

Found out yesterday it's indeed an Urinary Tract Infection. Kidneys are fine. Took her in for an antibiotic injection. We were told the vet would call back with biopsy lab results.

Last night, the vet called.

Kara has breast cancer.

We are now in a wait and see mode. Long story, but will need to do another round of blood work in a couple of weeks and then do an X-ray to see if it's spread. If it hasn't, she will have the lump removed and dental surgery at the same time... But this is a ways out...

Breast cancer...

I've walked with two women with breast cancer. Yes. It's different with a cat. Vastly different. But, it stirs up these memories.

And, Kara just adopted us September 21, 2014 and has thoroughly stolen our hearts. We love her like she's always been part of the fam.

Breast cancer...

Sad. Scary. But, when I spoke with the vet, I had a peace that transcends all understanding wash over me. It still does this morning.

I trust the Blessing Giver will take care of her--and us.

She has led such a tough life. Feral, declawed, deaf, and majority malnourished when she found us... Now, this...

And, this is I get really upset with Adam and Eve. Innocent animals of creation have to suffer because they are the fruit and refused to confess. 

Kara is scrappy. She is a love bug extraordinaire. We will help her fight. 

Last night, I was a little weepy and sure tried to count my blessings, before I went to bed and after. I found it a challenge to find anything original, so I counted the tried and true. It helped. Finding a blessing, any blessing, was sorely needed and it truly made the difference. 

Repeated blessings really help in situations like breast cancer, unknown future, infertility, fill in the blank. They help because they are a reminder that some blessings will always linger and be part of you. They are the ones you won't take for granted. A good marriage, faith, a new day, the stars in the sky, twilight, Fall leaves, coffee, klutzy cats guaranteed to make you have a good laugh at least once a day, snuggling puppy dogs, a hot shower, the smell of rain, the feeling of winter in the air, air conditioning, heat, cars, a good restaurant, date night, best friends, a good book, crawling into bed with fresh sheets, taking clothes out of the dryer and putting on a shirt or pants straightaway, the smell of clean laundry, clean dishes, etc. 

And, because I kept counting those blessings last night, I feel a lot better this morning. Kara, we've got your back. We will support you through it all. You will not be alone.

Now, I can count the repeated blessings and some fresh ones this morning and today.

But, I still get a lump in my throat.

Breast cancer.

The smell of puppy paws.

The smell of puppies and babies.

A new pillow.

A dishwasher.

Socks.

Throw blankets.

Music.

Medicine.

Veterinarians.

When my hubby says it will be otay...

Etc.

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A BLESSINGS KITE
By Ellen of Denver

Imagine this. Writing our blessings on a kite and allowing it to soar.

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MY BLESSINGS COUNTED LIST (NOVEMBER 07, 2014)

Written 2014-11-07 08:14:02, Friday

110 Thank God it's Friday.

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The truth of the matter is I have several blessings to thank God, the Blessings Giver, at once. So much has happened since I last wrote this list yesterday morning.

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111 A long, take your time hot shower.

112 Pain relief when Ibuprofen kicks in on a bad headache day.

113 Relief from dry sinuses when in shower.

114 Open windows which allow in the sounds of military planes flying overhead. (Which I call dragons. They are fire-breathing and fly fast, you know.)

115 Open windows which let in cooler, fresh air.

116 Open windows to air out stinky, stuffy house.

117 Candles to help with freshening the air in the house. (I bet you can't tell what I'm doing today.)

118 A blessing Mom just shared with me: "Imagine this. Writing our blessings on a kite and allowing it to soar."  

119 Yoga pants.

120 The sound Kara Cat makes that is a coo like a little dove.

121 When Zack Beagle doesn't have dementia. 

122 The smell of coffee as it brews.

123 When hubby does the dishes (which is often, let me add.)

124 How hubby washes all/most of the laundry

125 The sound of the turtles' water filters. A water feature. So relaxing. 

126 The first sip of coffee.

127 Knowing God is faithful and will never let me down. 

128 Knowing God has got Kara. 

129 Sinan cat sleeping on a dog bed.

130 How Zack follows me around like my shadow. 

131 Pumpkin. The taste thereof.

132 The looks of a pumpkin. I love the color, shape, etc. It makes me happy. (Not a jack-o-lantern, let me add.) Pumpkin = Harvest. Pumpkin = Orange. Pumpkin = Thanksgiving.

133 My favorite shampoo and conditioner.

134 My favorite body spray.

135 Paper and a pen.

136 "ONE THOUSAND GIFT" by Ann Voskamp. 

137 Re-reading "ONE THOUSAND GIFTS" again.

138 How reading "ONE THOUSAND GIFTS" last night before bed, in the middle of the night, and this morning has helped me so much. 

139 Realizing a blessing is a gift of favor given to me that I don't deserve. And, my response should be praise and gratitude, which leads to joy given by the Blessings Giver.

140 Starting over my counted list of blessings, starting November 01, 2014, and seeing the new blessings and the faithful/repeated blessings. 

141 When hubby says, "It will be otay."

142 Four day weekends. 

143 How I'm wearing purple and grey today. Happy colors. And, I'm drinking from a purple coffee mug. 

144 Thinking about making pumpkin soup for lunch--or a homemade sugar-free pumpkin latte.

145 Losing two more pounds.

146 Being able to copy, cut, and paste the highlights and notes  I make in my Amazon Kindle e-books into a document and save them to re-read later. 

147 Owls. 

148 Turtles.

149 Osprey.

150 Raccoons--tree huggers. 

151 151 Blessings so far is a blessing. 

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