Praying Through Psalm 1, Part 1

Note:

Today will be the first blog post of actually Praying Through the Bible. I hand wrote this post a couple of days ago and my life has not been the same since. It’s quite a lengthy prayer. I guess we will see if it is one blog post or two. Time will tell. The prayer journaling I hand wrote was over eleven pages long, but I may add to it as I type it up on my computer. We shall see. Time will tell.

Prayer:

Lord, I just read all the way through Psalm so I could familiarize myself with the Psalm again. The initial reading made me a little weepy as I realized, Father, how it was the perfect chapter to start praying through. I realize now how You have really given me my purpose. My purpose for living in general. My purpose for my prayer, Bible reading and study, giving thanks, life in general, my prayer journaling, my blogging, my writing. It is praying through the Bible, no doubt.

I also realize how you have given me this purpose all along, or at least since I was nineteen years old, and here we are over two decades later and I see it come around full circle. This was why You made me. I am to pray through the Bible and share my journey as I do so. What I share on my blog, and later in book form, can inspire others to pray the bible for themselves by using these blog posts as a stepping off point.

Amazing, Lord. Simply amazing.

I cannot wait to create on my blog the Praying Through the Bible resource of every chapter, ever verse of the Bible in time. It will also be a resource on prayer in general. The blog, in time, will also be able to be used as a Bible reading and Bible study resource, as well as a daily devotional. In short, it is everything You ever put into my heart spiritually and professionally rolled up into one—and Psalm 1 is the perfect stepping off point. Thank You, Lord.

What an answer to prayer, God, You showing me how everything through my life has come together to bring me to this point. To You be the glory forever and ever. For, this is all about You and is not about me. If it were left to me, I would still be shriveled up in a corner twiddling my thumbs, trying to figure out how to heal from my hurts and fix my writing. Thank You for working in me, through me, and around me up to this point and I cannot wait to see where You take me and us (readers of the blog) on this journey.

I was made for this, Lord. I can see that now. Then again, looking back on this a couple of days later, I can honestly say I believe wholeheartedly every single human being on the planet was made for this. Thank You for opening my eyes to this.

Last night, Lord, I shared Your vision of my personal prayer journaling being typed up and turned into a blog post, and the blog posts then being turned into a book over time to my husband. He got a faraway look for a moment and said, “This truly is. I will do everything I can to support you so you can fulfill the vision God has in your life.” And, bless his soul, I know he meant every word. Thank You, Lord, for such a fine husband, and for confirming things through him.

April 19^th was Day 1 for me in my personal prayer journal, but April 20^th was the first blog post. Therefore, this will be the anniversary date, Lord. I look forward to looking back in a week, in a month, every three months, and over a year and see what all I/we have prayed through. I am pretty sure it will be absolutely amazing, Father.

Oh, dear, Lord. This blog post, as I pray through Psalm 1 again as I type, is growing by the second and I am afraid I have been quite babbly in prayer. I would say forgive me, but I am pretty confident You would rather have me babble for a minute or two than be silent for a minute or two.

Lord, verse 2 shows how I avoid verse 1. I have always wondered how it is possible to meditate on the Word night and day (verse 2), pray without ceasing (Philippians 4:6; 1 Thessalonians 5:17), and always be thankful (give thanks, 1 Thessalonians 5:18)—at the same time. Now I know how. It is by praying through the Bible every day, all night and day long.

Abba, how should I proceed? Should I pray one book at a time? Should I pray one chapter or one verse at a time? I am, obviously starting with Psalms. Wait. Or, am I? I will hush and will follow Your lead as to what I pray through in Your Word next. Lead me, Father. Help me hear You every clearly as to what to do and when, and how and what to pray. But, first, I should get back to Psalm 1, Lord.

I just read through Psalm 1 again.

Your Word seems to ask: Want joy? (Joy is found in verse 1.) Then, do verse 2. Want delight? Verse 2 is also the answer. Want both joy and delight? Verse 2 is still the answer. Do you want to learn how to have true joy and true, absolute delight in the Holy Bible? See verse 2. If we meditate on the Word of God, the Holy Bible, Lord, and do so night and day, we will have joy and will then develop delight in the Bible. But, neither joy or delight develop until then… until we meditate, ponder, contemplate, think on, and pray through the Bible morning, noon, and night.

God, I cannot help but think how if I am praying through the Holy Bible all night and day, it becomes harder to be tempted and sin. It makes it difficult to live a sinful lifestyle of Psalm 1:1. See, Lord. I am liking the sound of that already.

Verse 3 is the answer to prayer and is an answer in advance, ahead of time. If we pray through the Bible morning, noon, afternoon, evening, and night… then verse 3. Then, we will be like trees which are planted by the bank of a river… never of need. Never thirsty. Thriving. Tall. Wide. Built up. Strong. Wow. Weepy again. This is what Your Word offers. Thank You Lord.

To be continued…

A Time of Change and Healing: How hurts and trying to heal have impacted my writing

They say that the Bible is the answer to and for everything. I couldn’t agree more, particularly as I type this. I will get back to this thought in a moment.

What I am about to share is a story I think everyone can understand to some degree and has been at this place in life as well. I cannot wait to share the journey of healing and how it’s changed me enormously already, for the good. More of this will be reflected in the next blog post, by the way.

You see, I am using a new system now with my blogging and writing. I am handwriting my prayer journaling, then typing it up as a blog post. Once I get enough blog posts, I will turn them into a book by editing and adding to them. This is a drastically different approach than I have ever used and I want to make it one I keep using from now on since the truth is I write better on the page by hand and then as I type it up, I am able to edit it and make it all the better. It works well so far. I pray that trend continues.

I stopped blogging and writing for a while so I could pray and see truly where the Lord is leading me with each, never mind my life. I had to. I was desperate. After all, I realized nothing in my life, other than my marriage, was working as it should or could. I am out of sync somehow. What I am about to share is proof of my state of transition.

I am an adult. I have a brain and I know how to use it. This means I can change. I have the ability to change. If I choose to do so. I also realize it takes months of hard work, where it takes a constant deliberate mindset to change. It does not come easily by any stretch of the imagination. I have to change, and so did my blogging and writing because of what I am about to share.

A little over a week ago, I had a wakeup call as I allowed someone to hurt me deeply. It was someone I knew I should not have given the power to do so, since they have bit me before, but I did. I thought, by mistake again, that they had changed. Well, they have. They have the same spots, the spots just moved a little and acted as camouflage so I didn’t see it coming. The truth is, I don’t think they expected it either and it surprised them just as much as it did me. They didn’t do it intentionally, but it still happened. Also, I still have no idea how to pick up with them from here. I love them, but I am no doormat. But, I cannot be a callous individual either. I keep praying God shows me His biblical way and that I do not act merely out of what I desire, which is self-preservation at this point.

I have forgiven, but it’s the forgetting part I am finding a little challenging. (Okay… Maybe a lot challenging. Lord, help me.) However, it says in 1 Corinthians 13 how love keeps no record of wrongs. Ugh. I know that is essential. It’s nonnegotiable. That is why I have pulled away from them for now because they don’t deserve any of my hostility as I try to forget and heal. They don’t need me confused as I try to have a relationship with them. I will say and do something stupid, by accident, and possibly intentionally at the time, if I am completely honest with myself… and they sure don’t deserve that. Two wrongs have never made a right. (Sorry about the cliché, but it conveys so much.) Nor will I put myself in that predicament.

Needless to say, I am in the process of trying to heal, but frankly have no idea where to turn or how to go about that. Or, maybe I should have said that in the past tense. I had no idea where to turn and how no idea to go about the process of healing. I do now, but again, I will get there in a moment.

The fact I allowed myself to be hurt like that, when it is in their nature, gave me a muchly needed wakeup call. That was when I realized how my blogging and writing are proof that something is off with me, and allowing the hurt is more proof. I have not been able to commit to one style of writing. I even started to ask, am I supposed to even be a writer? Have I been spinning my wheels, getting nowhere, for nothing? Have I been fooling myself? Was it wishful thinking? Consequently, I took a step back.

That was when I started to do something I should have done all along. I analyzed my life and where I am and where I will end up if I keep heading in this direction. I’m talking as a person, as well as a Christian, as a blogger, as a writer, and as a journal keeper. I didn’t care for what I saw. I am a scatterbrain who commits to not much but my marriage. I want to commit to my blogging and writing, but nothing ever lasts. I get an idea and the moment the wind shifts, I give up the idea and switch to the latest, greatest, this is it idea. None of this is fair to any of the readers of the blog or my writing.

So, what can I commit to anyway? What is holding me back from making the commitment?

One thing I realized is as much as I try to pray, I really don’t. I hope that makes sense, or will after a few blog posts (or should I say blog post confessionals). I pray, but again, I haven’t really, truly, totally, completely committed. (Yes. I used all of those synonyms to stress how lost I am with my praying life.) Like my blogging and writing life. Like my Bible reading and study as well.

Short of wanting to bury myself in a hole, or at least under the covers of my bed in shame, I realized that it was with my prayer and Word life I needed to start to commit. Really commit. Never give up or stop commit.

If my prayer life and Word life are nothing they should be, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the rest of the facets of my life would be out of kilter as well? After all, nothing is more important than my prayer and Bible life. And, I mean nothing. But, my life sure has been a sorrowful poor example of this, if I were to stop and be honest. Sure, I might do well for a couple of days or weeks, but it wouldn’t last. It never did. And, it never will unless I do something I have never done before.

So, what on earth does that look like? I couldn’t help but wonder.

And, I ever dreamed the answer would be what it is. (I sure do love it when He surprised me like He has the tendency to do.)

I realize now that I look back on things, God has been trying to point me in this direction all along, but I never imagined it would be in this manner.

I realized how I put too many expectations on prayer. Do all of us do this or is it just me? And, in my effort of placing all of these expectations on prayer, it would stop me from praying. It would stifle me and make me not want to pray. Too many expectations on prayer would stop any of us from praying as we should or could.

Now, it starts. (Just wait. You will see what I mean. I just made the switch form narrative to prayer.)

I realize the main thing about prayer is to turn our hearts and minds toward You, Lord… and talk with You, and listen, and pray Your Word. Praying Your Word is the main answer to every question, problem, dilemma, confusion, expectation, etc. with prayer.

No. Scratch that. Praying the Word is the answer for everything… not just prayer.

Literally.

Don’t know what to pray or how, pray what you read in the Bible, which is Your Word, Lord. Think your prayers are silly or immature? Pray the Holy Bible. Want to pray more powerful prayers? Pray the Word. What to pray without ceasing? Pray the Bible. Want to count your blessings and worship God by giving thanks? Pray the Word of God.

Just open the Bible and pray whatever you read. Pray the Bible. It really is that simple.

Thank You, Lord, for simplifying things. I oftentimes make things far more complicated than they need to be. This makes it something I can do, even when I am not thinking straight, and even when I am.

This is what I am focusing my entire life on now, is praying through the Bible. I will also focus all of my blogging and writing on this. And, this will not change. It cannot. There is too much at stake.

Just wait until the next blog post. That’s when things will come together and it will bless your socks off! I guarantee it. God is good that way.

Pray through the Bible. This is the answer.